I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I love having hate sex.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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