So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
