Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
