I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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