Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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