Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
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I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
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Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means