my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
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We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
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I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex