Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
