this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
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I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
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I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.