wanna go halves on a baby?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
please come you make the beer taste better
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.