The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
