genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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