dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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