You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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