dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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