Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
They have beer where we have blood.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
