think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
