my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
