So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
