I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
