Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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