my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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