Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
