Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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