You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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