have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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