after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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