Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
