yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
