I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it glows. i had to have it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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