like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think I am morally bankrupt
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
