need another drink. this is the easiest way
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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