He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
