respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
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I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
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Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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