With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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