he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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