whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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