he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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