Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize