Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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