One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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