Sry I called you an 8
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
