There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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