i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
