Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
