I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
third nipple confirmed
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
