My room smells like vodka and shame
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
