dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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