I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
