Will you blow on my dice?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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