New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
