Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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