I will die if light touches me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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