I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize