I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
