plz talk dirty to me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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