I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
