i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
