When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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