You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
