I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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