just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
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I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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