Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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