before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
