I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
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I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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