So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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